Last night, I cried rivers.

Holding my inner child was just the beginning of the process. Resentment towards my mother from something that happened between us 9 months ago surfaced and hit me with intense pain. Something she said and did, and me receiving it as an insult, without a possibility to…

What was originally planned as a short surprise visit to Russia turned out to be another flu experience + more. I had to change today's tickets because I felt feverish and rebooked them to fly back later this week at the cost of the events I planned to hold during the coming weekend. Sad about it.

When circumstances seem to take over, I always ask two questions.

1. What do I want?

2. What does life want from me?…

Last year, I felt a strong calling to participate in the program "Sex, Love, Relationships" coaching with Layla Martin. She studied human sexuality at Stanford and then spent the next 10 years in the jungles of Asia working with Tantric masters. Layla blends ancient Tantric wisdom with modern science and applies it to relationships and sex. Her Youtube channel has more than 65 million views. It's an incredible woman - every weekly LIVE call I had with her was WoW!…

Completing 2021 and opening up to creating 2022.

What are you grateful for in 2021?

And what are you opening up to and desiring to experience in 2022?

These are the questions I usually take time for at the end of each year. To consciously acknowledge and celebrate the passing year and to open my inner ears to deeply listen to what is calling me going forward.

I'm grateful to 2021 for so many things,…

I know what I want and I am not shy to ask for it.

Do I always get it the way I want it? No.

But it's not the point.

The point is to...

1. Become honest with yourself about what you truly desire

2. Be transparent about it

3. Open up to the millions of possible ways how it can manifest

When I connect to…

Many people ask me if I teach authentic Tantra, or if it's a modernized version of Tantra.

To understand my answer below, one of the distinctions that is useful to stand still by is Classical Tantra vs Neo Tantra.

Classical Tantra is basically a body of practices from many different traditions that existed on the Indian subcontinent from about 500AD to 1500AD. During this period is when the core of the texts were written, the practices were perfected and it was peaking in…

"You share so much about yourself in the social media. Do You realize that you are bound to be misunderstood?", a friend asked me.

I know for a fact that I am misunderstood, more often than not.

Aren't we all?

One same word or image has a very (or subtly) different meaning to each of us.

We all carry our ideas about…

One of those sleepless nights again.

I'm getting a clear guidance since several days. This is also keeping me awake now.

"Step into a deeper committed daily Tantric/Yogic sadhana."

Those of you who know me intimately, are already aware that I live Tantra. That it's not just a hobby or a profession. It's a path that I'm devoted to. And the guiding light in this is my own soul.

While having been knocked down with flu this week (blessed again ), I used the time to create space and structure for the sadhana. My heart was glowing from…

Expansion is not better than Contraction.

Like Happiness is not better than Sadness.

Sometimes we, people, measure our level of success by how happy we feel.

Both are just human experiences.

Let's look at the moon, our breath, the…

"Alexa, you say that you and Dylan are so different in many aspects.
Don't you feel like you have to COMPROMISE a lot in your relationship?"

We used to compromise... both of us. A LOT!

Until we had enough and almost split up... but luckily, we timely realized that we can also be together without compromising. It was a moment when a light bulb went on for both of us.

First, about 1 year into our relationship, when we…

I was a bit disappointed with the proposal and I sensed there was anger as well. Anger has been knocking on the door more regularly these past weeks so I was glad of the opportunity to dive into it ."

I received this message from someone after I announced the postponement of one of my programs and proposed new dates.

I deeply appreciate this message, because it shows me exactly what the person is feeling (vulnerability/authenticity) and it is free of making wrong (ownership).

****

When someone doesn't do what we want…

Life gifted me with one of the most magical seksual experiences today. Unexpectedly, just like that.

Spontaneously, context conditions were met for it to happen: our daughter went to spend a day with her grandma and there was plenty of time.

And we happened to have a very authentic and vulnerable conversation with each other. This was KEY, because it aligned our energy on many different levels to a degree that at some point we were magnetized to each other like two opposite poles.

Today's experience inspired me to share how some of the Tantric principles (and other principles) can be applied to the most intimate situations, including sex…

Tantra is about sex, right?

No, it is not.

What is it then?

Mmmmhhh good question.

Still asking myself this question every day.

And every time I respond to it from the moment of now, I'm surprised myself what comes out of my mouth.

Tantra is a living field, it's not a concept. That's why no…

If you make your decision(s) to pursue your desire(s), or not, based on the expectation that it will make you feel more happy or less pain, you are most probably doomed.

How many people want to be in a relationship to be more happy to only encounter even more pain?

How often do you do things that you don't want to do expecting that it will make you happy in the longer run to only find out that you keep heading away from yourself?

How often people choose for…

After several months break, I switched on News today. I won't for the next few months or years. The same hypnotizing download of info, without any further insight into any matter, as if we never moved on in the past couple of years.

I am aware how it shapes the internal reality and a psychological state of being for many people who are attuned to this frequency on a regular basis.

People, it's really bad….

Having the following items at home allowed me to feel at ease, since I chose to not go for vaccination.

Homeopathic remedies Aconitum 200k and Gelsemium 200k were KEY (I took 3 granules 3-4 times of each a day). I literally felt their impact within minutes each time.

If you have cough or lungs pressure, you will need an extra homeopathic remedy. I don't know which one. I did not need it.

My homeopath said…

Tonight, it's day 4 since symptoms started. It feels like I'm through. Feeling 85% healthy again. Joy is back, no pain, no fever, some tiredness and desire to stay in bed, after 1 hour being in the fresh air. Let's see if another wave is to come tonight.

I'm holding space for some of the sisters who are still going through a deep end right now.

Today, I was reflecting together with the group on the question if we could do anything differently to prevent COVID-19 from showing up in the space.

And the answer…

I was avoiding you.

I wished I would never meet you directly.

I still did not make up my mind about you through all this time.

Sometimes I was afraid of you and treated you like a "devil".

Sometimes I secretly wished I'd meet you one day and be able to look you straight in the eyes, feel and understand your essence.

And here you are. In your full glory….

Since January of this year, I can honestly say, it's been the most intense year of my life so far. And still three months to go!

If I had to give a name to 2021 it would probably be something like Torpedo.

It takes a village to raise a child. This saying is so true. And this is a big part of my life now, and will be for much longer. I have way more respect to my parents now that I have…

Beloved,

Are you connected to your deepest longing?
Can you feel it underneath your daily thoughts, emotions and actions?

Over lifetime your longing may change and have different flavors...

It may feel like loneliness or a deep desire to find a soulmate,
Feeling of being bored with life or a desire to unplug from all the structures and go travelling ,
Feeling of hopelessness & meaninglessness or a desire to be of true service to others,
A feeling of being exhausted to manage your life, or a desire to trust and surrender to life completely,
A feeling of being lost and not knowing who you are, or a desire to be deeply fulfilled and happy.

All these flavors and more can be the voice of your soul calling you to come home and to align to a deeper current that runs through your Core.

Longing is a compass of…