We consecrated and made love in nature yesterday, under the warm sun rays in a soft shade of a tree. Our intention was to meet each other deeply, on the soul level, and let all the rest burn.

As I felt gentle kisses and soft caress on my body, the sun was shining right into my face at some point. I called to the sun for its fire to reveal any untruth, to bring it to the surface. There was something between us for the past few months and we could not put a finger on it. It manifested as us deeply desiring each other, but each time we would physically come together for intimacy, we'd feel stuck in different frequencies that seemed impossible to align.

My heart and my whole body was longing for…

Being in the space of the last retreat awakened CLARITY in me.

I saw it once again that holding space in a Tantric Temple is the most aligned space to be Me. This is a space where things are crystal clear, transparent and visible. This is where I feel deeply connected to my dharma which is awakening to our deepest truth and living from it. In this space, working with others is natural and comes from a deep and authentic space. It's easy for me to guard my boundaries and to take the best self-care there..

Every time I leave the Tantric space, my cup is…

I really enjoyed the last part, after I have learned how to navigate the space where everything revolves around Alisia. When you don't have small kids, it's maybe hard to understand. The vacation is no longer about you. Dylan rocks, best dad ever!!! I would not survive alone. And Alisia is the most adorable and demanding little monster.

Most challenging was not being able to make love whenever…

The night after I posted my previous post here, I dreamed of being in a prison sentenced to death. I vividly remember a small room where a woman officer was explaining to me a procedure I'd need to go through to die. The procedure was that they would give me poison called arsenic. She explained that it would have an immediate effect on my liver, after which I'd feel sharp pain in my right ear, and the moment after my brain would switch off.

I woke up and noticed that I felt no fear neither in the dream nor when I woke up. I actually felt gratitude to that woman for preparing me so thoroughly, so I could spend my conscious attention on the last seconds of life rather than caught in fear not knowing what to expect.

What was that Dream about?

That dream for me was a reflection about…

Some years ago, if you asked me how I relate to my Yoni, I'd probably blush and say "Oh that thing that my mom punished me for when I was a child and teenager. Let's talk about something else."

Today, I can't imagine my life without being in close contact with Her, resting in Her, deriving my whole relationship to life from Her.

The overwhelming majority of men and women are limited to their habitual ways of relating to their genitals. Besides going to the toilet and having sex, there is usually little…

During the last weeks, actually as soon as I exhaled/recovered after the renovations and since summer has started, I've been feeling used by an invisible force that just directs the course of life without me even having time to be visible with it and share what's going on. From morning till evening, I am just finding myself in service and then happy to find a pillow before 10pm.

Last week, I held a 3-days Tantra Massage Weekend which I was not even initially planning to give, but after receiving so many requests from mostly couples this time, I found a suitable time slot for all to make it happen at a pretty short notice. Another beautiful and profound happening, I was…

The whole day today I am vibrating with the energy of the past 4 days spent with very diverse and unique couples and an incredible support team of 6 individuals who once have gone through a similar process themselves.

Each couple had their own unique story, dynamics, beauties and challenges.

They came to re-connect with their partner on a new level, to understand themselves better, to let go of the possible painful past, resolve some un-working dynamics in their relationship, and discover deeper ways of being intimate.

Some of the couples benefited the most from…

The whole day today I am vibrating with the energy of the past 4 days spent with very diverse and unique couples and an incredible support team of 6 individuals who once have gone through a similar process themselves.

Each couple had their own unique story, dynamics, beauties and challenges.

They came to re-connect with their partner on a new level, to understand themselves better, to let go of the possible painful past, resolve some un-working dynamics in their relationship, and discover deeper ways of being intimate.

Some of the couples benefited the most from…

I feel alive.

I feel beaming.

I feel mischievous and playful.

This feeling of life pulsing inside my body - it's sooo precious.

Now, when the space is there to just Be, be myself, when nothing needs to be done that costs loads of energy and where I have to be out of my comfort zone each day. But only do things that give energy, waking up early in the morning with a YaY feeling. Creation energy is surging.

This is how I know that I am aligned with life.

And my intention now is to…

I moved from peace & joy in the morning, through disappointment, frustration and anger, to tiredness and sleepiness, to peacefully chilling and feeling grateful in the evening.

The big thing I realized today is that I put up way too long with what's not working and draining energy.

There have been people appearing in my space since last year and they still keep appearing and reflecting one theme to me.

Boundaries.

Allowing certain people to be close in my space and play a role in my life after it's clear that I don't want to have them close to me.

Simply no match in values.

I can forgive this and I can forgive that, I say to myself. And yes I can, but it doesn't mean I have to continue putting up with things that drain my energy.

For instance, I have it difficult with…

The last few weeks and months, I've often had a feeling that I am drowning in all the things I have launched into creation, to the point of no longer enjoying it as there was barely any space to breath, to eat or to rest. I looked at myself in the mirror and I did not like what I saw. A woman whose smile is gone and who has worries on her face, a woman who breathes shallow and whose light in the eyes is dimmed.

Russia was a good re-set button. I…

Past weeks have been passing so fast, I can't believe we are already approaching beginning of May. I notice how I wake up in the morning, and when I go to bed, and in between it's a high intensity DOing mode.

I wish to stop for a moment and appreciate all the things that are happening. Inhale. Exhale.

First of all, the Sex, Love & Relationship VITA program with Layla Martin that I am doing this year is simply phenomenal. I am so in awe what this woman has created and how she brings it forward, with so much love and compassion. I enjoy honing my coaching skills with new somatic tools that are simple and so powerful. The program is intense and requires daily time commitment, self-discipline and compassionate self-holding. And at the same time, in the absence of live Tantra work for the past 1 year, it gives me meaning and connection with the Tantra field.

2 weeks ago we…

I was listening to the radio today about the next lockdown coming... with all the strict measures again like schools being closed, even more limited number of people we can see, and many other measures, and there were 3 parts in me I could see & hear.

The first part in me is very tired of these rules and restrictions imposed in a top bottom approach. I ponder about this question: How can population be engaged in co-creating decisions and solutions, so you and I are not at the mercy of a few people who make decisions? My heart breaks for everyone who is unfavorably impacted by the measures that are being taken as they don't take all of the arising from them problems into account.

The other part is very rebellious. "I wanna f--king…

One of those sleepless nights. This time from a strong black tea that I had too late last eve and which activated my body and mind.

I was lying in bed for hours expecting to fall asleep and started getting frustrated that I was still awake. And then I caught myself in this frustration and the stories that came with it, and decided to change the course of re-action. I smiled and started sending love and gratitude to my frustration and to all the thinking that in the meantime has sorted many open questions I had, and to my creative mind that was generating amazing ideas, and to my heart that appreciates this life so much and can easily embrace things with love, and to my darling who…

It is important not to ignore the foundations of our humanity: relationships and interactions that shape our minds and brains when we are young and that give substance and meaning to our entire lives."

I'm reading the book "The Body keeps the score", a chapter about childhood trauma's caused by sexual or physical abuse, neglect and ignorance.

Did you know that sexually or physically abused children have an incredibly higher rate of all kinds of illnesses like obesity, ADHD, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, depressions, anxiety, etc. It's very difficult for these people to feel…

Last weeks are intense and exciting, juggling with several balls at the same time. All are nicely in the air!

At the beginning of this week I felt my solar plexus being numb, and life energy not streaming through. More tired, more sensitive than usually as a result. Breathing, moving, sounding - my first aid helpers - did not help. A coaching session neither. So I booked a healing session, which revealed that there was some energy-sucker in this area, which I successfully let go of with love. And then an insight came to…

What is the best gift for yourself (if you are single) or for yourself and your beloved (if you are in a relationship) on St Valentine?

Many people break their head over a gift desperately trying to find something.

Let me share with you what will be the best gift. And for which you might not need to visit even a single shop.

We all want to feel loved.

Yet, the way we like to be loved is different from person to person.

Have you heard about…

Since last night, I've started getting some "downloads", or in other words highly energetic and meaningful messages/insights. It happens each time before I embark on being in service of transformation that something bigger opens up and I am in awe of what is being communicated through me.

This time it is a Conscious Relationship Journey that is starting tonight and to which 15 couples said yes.

Yesterday, before falling asleep, in the in-between state, I got a message…

Today, I'm in anticipation of a Tantric date night. No, I will not be having it with Dylan this time, ours is for tomorrow . This time I will be guiding about 20+ couples who chose to spend a beautiful and sensual quality time together.

My whole body is buzzing, because I'm so aware of the power of a collective field. It's already big to do these practices just with my partner, but when I feel the energy of many couples at the same time - wow! F.ck YES!…

Today, I imagine a society/community that celebrates human sexuality in the highest possible way.

This is what I envision from my heart

In such a society, sexual safety is the foundation.

Mutual consent is at the core of every sexual interaction. It is taught in kindergartens and schools, from love, not from fear.

People understand that sexual energy is the primordial energy that is the source of all creation and of all existence, as well as the energy that lets us tap straight into our divinity while having a human experience. It is therefore deeply honored as a life giving force. Life giving in the literal sense of pro-creation, but also life-giving being at the source of living attuned to our deepest core, creativity, pleasure and joy.

Children in such society are raised with sexual awareness, taught to…