The night after I posted my previous post here, I dreamed of being in a prison sentenced to death. I vividly remember a small room where a woman officer was explaining to me a procedure I'd need to go through to die. The procedure was that they would give me poison called arsenic. She explained that it would have an immediate effect on my liver, after which I'd feel sharp pain in my right ear, and the moment after my brain would switch off.
I woke up and noticed that I felt no fear neither in the dream nor when I woke up. I actually felt gratitude to that woman for preparing me so thoroughly, so I could spend my conscious attention on the last seconds of life rather than caught in fear not knowing what to expect.
What was that Dream about?
That dream for me was a reflection about the deep subconscious FEAR to live my soul's mission for a 100%. I remember it took me a while to launch my website when I was creating my Tantra School, and at that time what was blocking me was the fear of being thrown into jail for what I believe in and for living my truth. Because the work that I do deeply challenges what the collective believes in.
It's not a fear without basis in this lifetime. I actually lived through an experience in Russia a few years ago when I brought consciousness work there and we started operating in 5 large cities as a successful organization in the field of personal transformation. 4 years of success. The Orthodox Church did not endorse it. They sent us a priest to one of the trainings as a participant, under the false name and address, and after the training the priest "ended up" in a Psychiatric Clinique with a psychosis, so to say. Miraculously, after 2 days the priest was again healthy and released from the Clinique. It was all set up, and the only way we found out these details because we had a personal connection with someone working at the secret services who revealed these details to us.
Based on that diagnosis of the priest, the church initiated a criminal case against our organization and the local organizer faced a threat of imprisonment for 6-8 years. We had to stop all activities immediately and find a way to stop the case, and I remember taking a flight home from the training that did not take place, shaking, devastated, yet understanding deeper than ever before the visible and invisible forces that pull the strings in this society and that are not interested in people rising in consciousness and becoming empowered.
Arriving back in Belgium, it took me a while until I could sleep and walk outside without mistrust. My nervous system was on a high alert. But it subsided in the end, and even greater strength and courage entered me to walk my path.
This incident did not stop the Work from happening either. Voices can't be silenced by force. They still vibrate from inside out in everything people do. And so the work continues living through people who got trained and participated in the programs.
Interesting that my previous post was such a deep expression of my inner truth... and then the dream came up. I even received messages from a couple of people telling me they saw me in their dream that same night, that I was looking them deeply into the eyes, piercing into their soul.
Let us not wobble on our path, but be aware that there are both supportive and opposing forces (inside and outside) along the way. This is all part of the game. Keep trusting and keep going.
Aho.
