I moved from peace & joy in the morning, through disappointment, frustration and anger, to tiredness and sleepiness, to peacefully chilling and feeling grateful in the evening.
The big thing I realized today is that I put up way too long with what's not working and draining energy.
There have been people appearing in my space since last year and they still keep appearing and reflecting one theme to me.
Boundaries.
Allowing certain people to be close in my space and play a role in my life after it's clear that I don't want to have them close to me.
Simply no match in values.
I can forgive this and I can forgive that, I say to myself. And yes I can, but it doesn't mean I have to continue putting up with things that drain my energy.
For instance, I have it difficult with people who can't be fully transparent and honest about their thoughts, feelings and intentions, who pile up stuff inside and pretend all is cool, while inside of them something else is going on. They might be aware or not fully aware of it.
All of us have a choice to be the way we want to be. And I certainly was at a level of blind inauthenticity in my life too, and then also a not blind inauthenticity. Both have its fun and trouble.
Today, I wish to keep cultivating and interacting closely with people who can relate on a certain level of authenticity and openness. I'm not interested in small talks, in nice smiles and promises, in bragging, or anything else where I can't feel people's core.
But show me your truth, including the uncomfortable one, the one where I can see all parts of you, whatever is true in the moment and I can't take my eyes off you. I'm fascinated. I'm in love. In love with life through you. I'm proud to be a human, thanks to you.
From now on, I take a decision to be more sharp and direct in choosing with whom I wish to walk together and with whom not. If it doesn't work, basta, no compromise. With full transparency and respect, and acceptance of our different journeys.
I don't have to like everything and everyone. I don't have to try and find compassion for things which go way too far for me. I simply can choose to walk my way the way it is true for me and choose who I let to walk along.
I've let my boundaries be crossed mostly by people that I loved or that were recommended to me for professional purposes by people I trusted. Out of love, out of respect, out of trust, I've let my own inner voice be unheard. Inner voice that told me otherwise.
And so I parted ways with several people in the last couple of years. Personally and professionally. Often way too late, allowing things to happen for too long, and dealing with pain of this transgression later on.
It dawned on me today.
Why wait so long when it's clear so fast?!
It's almost like a part of me enjoyed this "how far will it get?"
And this is the big Aha of today.
Why wait so long when it's clear so fast?
I choose from now on to further empower the freedom to quit what's not true or what's not serving without delay.
