It all starts going wrong if you think you need to start love making with a Prelude. Some also call it a Foreplay.
There can be nothing more misleading than this concept.
If you buy into this "Prelude" thing, you'll ruin your love making pretty soon.
Prelude presupposes that there is something more important coming afterwards for which one needs to prepare. And if there is something more important coming, then we just do this foreplay in expectation for the main thing to happen later.
What is that main thing?
For most people it means sexual intercourse and following it orgasm. This is what ruins all love making - thinking that this is the main thing.
A woman will resent this love making even sooner than a man. Even though the concept of a foreplay is mostly emphasized by women. It's as if every touch, every kiss, every movement just indicate to get ready for the main thing.
This is so boring.
I can understand why so many people loose interest in intimacy, especially in long term relationships.
Love making is not another thing to tick off or to score.
It's not how many times I orgasm that matters. Not at all. So, please, also stop hunting my and your orgasm.
A touch without any goal is love making.
A kiss without any agenda is love making.
Breathing together is love making.
Holding each other is love making.
Looking into each others eyes is love making.
My skin touching your skin is love making.
And it doesn't need to go into a sexual intercourse. And it may. But there is no logical sequence that needs to happen.
In fact, I better have no love making than the one with a goal.
What I long for is presence, being seen, felt in this very moment. This is the best gift you can give.
If this resonates with you, and if until now you perceived that sexual intercourse is the main thing of love making, I challenge you to make love next time without sexual intercourse. Not that intercourse is in any way wrong. Not at all. It is divine, but not when treated as a goal. Fixating on it as the main thing of love making kills presence and poise that create a simple magic of connection and bliss we all long for.
About us:
Dylan and I met in May of 2017 and since then, we have been intensely together, first travelling and living in Thailand for 2 months, then travelling through Greece and Spain, until we decided to settle down in Belgium, where you will find us now.
