We all have NEEDS and DESIRES when it comes to relationships, don't we?
There are some needs and desires that are more important than others, and if they are not fulfilled, we may feel a lot of pain and frustration.
Often, such needs come from our childhood wounds.
As long as childhood wounds are active, we will behave in relationships from our “child” parts. In the initial Eros phase, we get a taste how it can look and feel like to have our needs and desires fulfilled. This is when we usually may say about the other person “This is the One!”
When the Eros phase fades out, and it is natural for it to fade out after about 1 to 3 years, we discover polarities in each other, and suddenly may realize that it is too big of a job to constantly fulfill all needs and desires of our beloved, and vice versa.
This is when the childhood wounds re-surface, and if they are not consciously taken care of by ourselves, we may enter a period which sometimes can last many years or many relationships, where each time our needs or desires are not fulfilled, we may start…
Complaining
Demanding
Feeling entitled
Getting frustrated
Sulking
Forcing
Being hysterical
Getting depressed
You name it.
In adult relationships, especially the ones where there is mutual attraction and love, these childhood wounds re-surface because we intuitively feel the potential for healing them.
The bigger attraction & love, the bigger is the healing potential.
In order to spare years of trouble, frustration and missing each other, one of the most important things to do is the INNER CHILD work.
Because at the end of the day, your partner can not and even should not provide for all of your needs and desires all the time. It’s our job to take care of our core needs and to heal childhood wounds so that we eventually stop locking love into a cage, but open up to receive the abundance of it that is present in every moment. Because life, yourself, your partner, are LOVE itself, so there is never lack of it. The unhealed wounds create the perception that there is lack.
It's not about finding LOVE, it's about seeing through everything that stands in the way of it.
The crucifix here is that your partner may choose to consciously support you in healing your childhood wounds, but in the end they are to be taken care of by your INNER PARENT. The KEY is to bring it HOME.
It’s not always a linear or a straightforward process, it may even take many relationships, if we are unaware of it, but at the end of the day it boils down to coming to a greater wholeness within, from where each one of us can own our parts, be with them, and not project them onto others in the form of entitlement.
Love,
Alexa Mira
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Inner Child work is an important part of my programs.
Next 1 Year Tantra Program "Expansion into Love" starts again
On August 12-15th for Singles and partners who choose to come alone and on August 25-28th for Couples
Honoring the Sacred Retreat on September 24 - October 1st is calling women who are ready to live their life on a whole new level of Empowerment, Love and Purpose.
