We received many messages in the last couple of weeks, and there is one message that stood out and touched us deeply.
It came from an 80-year old woman. I'll keep all other personal details about her anonymous. She shared this:
"I watched the episode about Tantra and found it so special how quickly people re-connected with themselves.
I am 80 years old, have had a very bumpy road and am happy with where I am now on my path.
I missed any form of love, intimacy, touch, tenderness with my parents and with my ex-husband. He only touched me when he wanted his sexual needs to be met. If I stopped playing with him because I did not want to, he said that I was no longer performing my duties as a wife.
All I was told by the so-called experts was to stop paying attention to it, I think I was already over 60. That was terribly frustrating.
I am writing to you to ask a question which I asked so many times in my life and did not receive any constructive advice from others: How can I free myself from sexual pain and get my energy flowing again?"
It was heart breaking to read.
On so many levels.
And it was also deeply moving to read.
Because she takes steps to heal and find the answers.
This woman represents not only so many other women, but also so many other men who live with a collective conditioning that "if we are in a relationship", then "you owe me sex" or "I owe you sex".
The pain she refers to is not only psychological but also tangibly physical. It develops in the intimate area first as numbness and then as pain when you do something to your body that you feel a NO for.
When people engage sexually because they want to fulfill on "a marriage duty" or because they don't want to loose their partner, and they do it without a full-body YES, it is self-violation which has consequences on so many levels.
It's sad, but it happens all around the globe, in so many relationships.
The only VALID reason to share your body and sexual energy with anyone else is because YOU want it for your OWN pleasure.
There is NO other reason.
Neither for Marriage as an institution.
Nor for your Partner or Lover to make them feel good.
Your BODY is yours.
Your PLEASURE is yours.
Your YES & NO are yours.
We all have an equal capacity to ENJOY this life in all FREEDOM. Not for or because of someone else.
Dropping the inauthentic game of pleasing and sharing with your partner honestly how you feel is the 1st step.
From there, the change can happen.
In our retreats, already by the end of day 1, many people have tears in their eyes realizing how they've been treating their body, having forgotten that it is SACRED, that sexual energy is sacred and that PLEASING anyone is not a good idea.
And after the groundwork is done, our participants discover so many things about what is possible in intimacy and sexuality which is not only ethical & consensual, but also deeply nourishing & soul fulfilling where both or more partners can enjoy and evolve long term.
We recommended this brave 80-year old lady to get in contact with one of the trusted Tantric bodyworkers in her area and take a few sessions of yoni massage & de-armoring, so she can re-connect with the GODDESS between her legs. She responded with deep gratitude and already arranged her next steps.
I am so happy for her.
She is a GREAT example for many of us.
It is never too late to heal and claim our sovereignty and power back.
And it's also not necessary to wait too long to take steps towards a fulfilling intimate & sexual life.
As this message may trigger interest in Tantric bodyworkers, on our website, we mention several Tantric bodyworkers that we recommend. You can also find them easily on Facebook or Instagram and connect directly.
https://templeoftantricarts.com/tantra-masseurs-2019
With love,
Alexa Mira
