What a great honor and mirror it was to step in with Jonathan & Linde & Team into their "Divine Spirit" program a week ago!
I had a very smooth experience during the retreat and BAM! Clouds coming together towards the end of last day and re-emerging through an eye of the needle into transformation after the retreat.
Putting a finger on the numb part in my heart that I felt being there in the circle led me straight back to my Mother. Not a surprise. But pieces of the puzzle started falling together right after, and were still falling this whole past week. Clues, keys, symbols, all in support to see what is really behind this numbness in the NOW. Coming in touch with Innocence, then coming in touch with Pain. And only later coming in touch with the CORE of it. Dylan held maybe the most important KEY. It's worth a separate post.
Often, I felt like a TRICKSTER in the space. Apparently, I have a sacred gift to trigger some people with 'queenliness' and what some perceive as 'entitlement'. Queenliness is something I am not uncomfortable with (including ice queen ). The entitlement bit was surprising and interesting to zoom into, and to embrace as part of my reality. What people don't realize is that what they sometimes see as entitlement is when eclipse in my heart happens and the numb part I was referring to takes over. It's a protection mechanism cleverly designed by my identity. It has had the power to trick even myself, to tell the truth. Happy it's brought into the light. It opens the possibility to live entitlement consciously as one of the universal energies.
Thanks to Jonathan and Linde for having the guts to be honest with me and dropping yet another piece of the puzzle this way. Honesty (distinct from projection ) is a radically rare quality nowadays. It can feel like poison in the moment, but it is great medicine.
What I am very grateful for as well, was the Friendship and Family aspect of the field, which was feelable from the very first moment I arrived in the space. This is so totally Jonathan & Linde!!! Through their transmission, I received an upgrade in my whole system of what it means. It will trickle down in all of my private life and work, I feel it already.
My family constellation friend told me a couple of days ago that "it was crazy" to step in as a participant into the field where many people knew me as a teacher. Retreat leaders were my former students and later work partners. Some participants were there from my 1 year program. Team members that also assisted in my teams. By doing so, we basically flipped the family system energetically upside down. Mother suddenly became a child (stopping the care over others and zooming into her own needs) and children suddenly had to step up to be a parent (stop being in the receiving position and step into caring).That in itself was quite something. Especially on the first day, I had to look around and orient myself "waaait, wwhhaaat?" This flip exposed quite a lot of interesting stuff that was in the shadow. What a game in consciousness!
I wholeheartedly recommend this work into Tantric BDSI with Jonathan and Linde which goes beyond. It's a unique field. Their next beginners modules will kick off in October and November www.consensual.eu Jump on the train if you are resonating. High quality integer transformational containers are so rare.
Alexa Mira
