I am slowly landing back in Belgium after what felt like a "washing machine" for many inner structures in my psyche.
Structures around love, sexuality, raising children, social engagement, commitment to life, and so much more. Having spent 8 days in Tamera made a big impression on me in many senses.
Tamera Peace Research & Education Center in Portugal https://www.tamera.org/ is a community with a PEACE mission. They research all possible ways how humans can co-exist in peace with each other, while they use themselves as the research material. The purpose is to tangibly contribute to a world free of violence and wars.
One of the main pillars of Tamera community is free LOVE & SEXUALITY.
For several years already, I've been curious about this unique place on Earth.
What I took away from Tamera
Someone can follow free love & sexuality truly if it's one's AUTHENTIC DESIRE.
Ideally, it would be supported by a
1. like-minded social circle/tribe/community,
2. trauma-aware environment, and
3. connection to something higher than oneself or relationship
Spending 8 days in a totally different collective context made new things "normal" for me. I realized once again how much we are a subject to our social environment! We better choose it wisely.
It's neither a must, nor yet another dogma that a peaceful world can only exist if the whole world functions on the premises of free love and sexuality. It's literally their personal and community RESEARCH and they name it as such.
There are community members at Tamera who live monogamy either as a standard or temporarily, and it's equally accepted and honored. I personally spoke with one female community member who shared she is more monogamous by preference all of her life, and at the same time she is very open about the fact that other people may have different preferences. Her partner, for instance, is polyamorous and is relating with several women. And nevertheless both of them co-exist wonderfully in a relationship, growing two beautiful children together. She named "acceptance of each other's differences" and the "ability to own and work through one's beliefs/emotions" as 2 fundamental keys to be able to thrive in a relationship constellation like theirs. She also mentioned that good "communication" is key to let it flow and not get stuck in assumptions and misunderstandings.
I personally find it interesting to inquire where the desire to share love and sexuality with just one person or with several people comes from.
What's the larger context for a relationship independently from the form?
After I've been sharing my journal notes from Tamera on my Facebook page, some people messaged me asking if free love & sexuality is something Tantric.
My answer is: "It is not."
Tantra embraces everything, but it doesn't focus on giving guidance for a form of relating.
Tantra is not a dogma of how it should be, about anything.
Tantric practices let us connect deeply with what's true for each of us at any given moment, and allow us to connect to how the Goddess wants to move and express itself through each unique Being.
In my Tantra retreats, for example, I don't promote free love & sexuality as the way to go.
If people feel genuinely curious and ready to explore it, it's totally welcome.
And if a couple wishes to do all practices just with the two of them, it's equally welcome.
I must say that spending 8 days was critical to marinate in the new FIELD. If I left after 4 or even 6 days, I would not have had the same getting and understanding, the same depth of experience. And even after 8 days, I wished I could stay longer, because it felt that the field just really started opening up.
For some time already I felt that I want to make my retreats longer too (from 4 to 7-8 days) so the FIELD can do its work on a deeper level. It feels even more aligned now, after last week's experience.
I am therefore so excited for the 7-days edition on August 25-31st, 2023 when Module 1 (which I will co-facilitate with Dylan) https://templeoftantricarts.com/conscious-intimacy and Module 2 (which I will co-facilitate with Jonathan again) https://templeoftantricarts.com/shining-light-on-hidden... of the 1 Year Tantra Program "Expansion into Love" will take place together!
There are a few spots left - we are heading towards having a complete group soon!
With love,
Alexa Mira
