For the last 5 years, Dylan and I have been in a monogamous relationship. Since about 3 years, we have started talking about the possibility to open our relationship. The baby chapter naturally delayed it for a couple of years. But last fall, we both felt we were ready to venture into this new territory for us.
We were clear that we were not interested to build parallel relationships to the one we have, but we rather desired to expand our relationship by bringing the 3rd energy IN.
It felt EDGY and super EXCITING at the same time!
We tuned into qualities that we would desire to attract in the third person, and we were miraculously aligned. So we performed a S€x Magic ritual to kick our creation into Manifestation.
It did not take long for Her to show up.
We chose absolute upfront TRANSPARENCY, so there would not be any false expectations from any side.
2 months later Dylan and She started dating, and after some time, Dylan shared with me: "I am falling in Love."
This was the moment, when my journey started to open my HEART towards them connecting deeply, and towards the possibility that she could be the 3rd energy joining us. She in turn was tuning into the constellation that we were transparently sharing with her we were creating.
All these months the three of us were in such a beautiful flow and open communication, which created a foundation of TRUST towards each other. My heart was opening up more and more, and I started tapping into the beauty of expanding into Love together in a TRIO relationship. The possibility of loving two people was and still is divinely overwhelming!
The energy we carry together as a trio is so beautiful, vulnerable and fragile that it was not something I easily wanted to share with the outside world while it was in formation. And now, when we can celebrate the richness of our first few months experiences together and after we officially said YES to each other last weekend, I am happy to share and celebrate this with the whole WORLD!
The biggest learnings that I can share from opening up our relationship are:
Getting clear on a CONTEXT of WHY we both wished to open up a relationship was KEY. For us, it was clearly to experience more LOVE, GROWTH and EXPANSION together.
Brainstorm and choose the FORM that would be most fulfilling and suitable for us. There is Black and there is White, and there is a whole million of other colors in-between. What is the right color for us at this moment? In our case, it was the desire to have a full on equal TRIO relationship.
Taking it SLOW. Unless all parties feel a whole hearted and rooted YES, don't take next step. It's a vulnerable process to open up a relationship. RESPECT & SAFETY are key to build TRUST in the new constellation. It takes longer to heal the rupture than to walk with tiny steps at a time.
Full TRANSPARENCY & VULNERABILITY. Sharing true Needs, Fears and Desires with each other, especially when it feels scary, insignificant or shameful to share. This type of sharing made us aware how important it is to be "naked" in order to stay deeply connected, and brought even the TWO of us, Dylan and I, much closer together than ever before.
Agreed level and way of INCLUSION. Everyone is different and it's important to get clear how each one wants to be included in the new constellation in terms of communication, presence, etc.
I believe that the only true constellation for relating is the one that FEELS right for all parties at any given moment. Forms are many, but the Essence is one.
There are future plans to look forward to and we keep taking every moment slowly so we can fully enjoy and expand in this new form together!
To be continued...
With love
Alexa Mira
