At the age of 11, I entered an Orthodox church for the 1st time. I was kicked out of it in a matter of minutes by an old lady who sold candles at the entrance. I made a cross with my LEFT hand. That was WRONG! "You are from the Devil!" she screamed. Little I knew who that 'guy' was, so I did not take it too personally. My grandma clarified it for me though that very same day.
The second time I entered a church was with my 1st boyfriend at the age of 15, holding hands being in love. Well...this time, we were both kicked out in a matter of minutes by an old lady who slammed her bag on our holding hands and screamed: "It's not a place for lovers!" She was obviously very religious in a dogmatic way. It cleared all the doubts for me once and for all: that house was not for Love.
And yet... by a joke of fate, former church premises will later become the house of Love in my life, thanks to Tantra.
After the two incidents I described above, I only entered churches as a tourist, admiring the architecture, even if it were just for a few minutes. Something about them was deeply familiar & magnetic... and at the same time repulsing, so I would never spend long time there.
This afternoon, I was sitting in the garden of a former monastery in Ghent and reflecting "how come almost half of all my events are taking place in former buildings of the Church?" I find myself often holding space either in a former monastery, like today, or in a former church. And the most fascinating thing is that I feel very comfortable in these places, walking around with incense clearing space, reciting some incantations, inviting the higher wisdom to guide me and surrendering my 'little' personality, thus creating a sacred Temple, in which magic can occur. Space free of dogma’s and filled with inner wisdom, because in this space people start truly listening to themselves and hearing their inner voice.
Sexual energy in Christianity is perceived as devilish, and yet when I read old scriptures from known and respected people who lived 2000 and more of years ago, it was not like that before. Sexual energy was nurtured and worked with in holy circles. Its wisdom was known and utilized. Not for lust, but for making Love, for charging Energy Body (read "Mary Magdalene's Manuscript"), sublimating it into higher centres, etc. There is so much wisdom behind it, which was cut off from our knowledge, but which luckily can still be found in ancient sources.
Fascinating to have this flashback to when I was 11 and life already then gave me a sign that I’d be working with something that is perceived by the church as devilish. This something being the very source of our existence – Sexual Energy. Today, I bring these two polarities together: church and Tantra by practicing the sacred art of Tantra in former religious buildings. One of life's paradoxes! And it gives me this AMUSING feeling each time this happens. 🙃
1st picture - art by Joel Moens De Hase
2nd picture - me in a church on Ibiza in 2015
