Today, I traced back where my confusion started.
It was in the kindergarden at the age of 3 when a teacher told me that I "should" finish my plate with porridge. I remember a moment of hesitation and then not obeying her. But then she repeated it two more times in an increased tone of voice and I felt I had no choice. I swallowed that porridge with disgust. Deep inside I felt violated, but my mind of a child did not question her request.
"Smile into the camera" is a frequently used phrase from early on. Because you "have to" look happy on pictures. Who cares what you really feel.
And like this, parents and teachers help children to get confused, to disconnect from themselves.
Children mistakenly conclude that if they do what adults tell them to do, then they will be loved. And so slowly but surely they start ignoring their own feelings and impulses.
And the circus starts... which turns into existential misery for many many human beings. They no longer trust their own impulses, because they were not loved for it too many times before.
And notice, it all started in language, which we, humans, are so proud of. If there was no language, teacher would not express "finish the porridge", parents would not say "smile".
At school, teachers tell you what to do.
At home, parents tell you what to do.
In the church, priest tells you what to do.
At work, your boss tells you what to do.
Outside of work, system tells you what to do.
No wonder, people have no clue any more who they are.
Then some people who can't bear it any more, start searching for themselves.
Some go to other countries from India to Nepal to learn about who they are. Thousands of them wander around there.
Or they start reading books, which tell them what to do.
They start following seminars, which tell them what to do.
Now, not only they don't know who they are, they also start feeling they are not enough and they need to get somewhere.
While all this time all that you ever needed, including all the answers, were and are inside of you (and me).
Dare to slow down, get back into your body and listen to yourself.
#returnhome ❤️
About us:
Dylan and I met in May of 2017 and since then, we have been intensely together, first travelling and living in Thailand for 2 months, then travelling through Greece and Spain, until we decided to settle down in Belgium, where you will find us now.
