Not good enough?
Not good enough?
I've been screaming and crying my eyes out like a madwoman last weekend.
Sitting in a circle of people who not only individually but also collectively believe they are "not good enough", including the leader of the course, was torture for me.
I am still keeping the process open to see all there is to see for me in what happened.
What cracked me was when one of the women emotionally shared that she felt inadequate about herself and the teacher started responding with "you need to...", you have to...", "I've spent many years myself and am still not the master...". And then many others joined in sharing what she needs to do and how she needs to live. Poor thing was listening to them as if they knew better what she needs. But none of that helped her even a tiny bit.
In that moment I shared with the group that I felt ANGER.
Not just a bit of anger, but A LOT OF ANGER!!
And underneath the anger was PAIN (I refer to it in my previous post).
How can we, such incredible wise beings, degrade ourselves collectively to playing so small?
After I shared with the teacher that I don't buy into this context of not being good enough which became a collective mental virus on a planetary scale, but live from "I'm whole and complete and from here I follow my curiosity and joy", he responded "How can you be so arrogant?!!"
I felt he meant it.
After I felt into it, I admitted yes, I am also arrogant.
I hold all parts of existence in me as everyone else.
Do we realize that as long as we live from our limiting beliefs, we create our reality as such?
First belief, then reality. Not the opposite.
If you walk around with a belief like "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not worthy"... which you've never consciously chosen, by the way, did you? see it for what it is.
For instance, next time the virus shows its head, you could say with a big smile "How fascinating!!! Here you are again! Thank you, but thank you." And continue what you were doing. The more you will lough at it, the less it will have power over you and over time it will wear off. This way you can rewire your brain and also become very aware of its slightest appearance.
Alternatively, recognize that you were a child when you got this mental virus from either your parents or other people close to you. And imagine how you as an adult hold your child who caught this virus and is under its impact. Give this little child in you love and understanding and realize that you are an adult now.
Or, create your own belief and stick to it, because it is something consciously chosen by You.
Anyway... what would be your unique creative way to go about it?
You are wonder, you are miracle, you are Life itself.
How can it ever be not enough or wrong?
About us:
Dylan and I met in May of 2017 and since then, we have been intensely together, first travelling and living in Thailand for 2 months, then travelling through Greece and Spain, until we decided to settle down in Belgium, where you will find us now.