The experience of being pregnant in my 9th month
Feeling very gentle today.π
I took some time this morning to meditate, to do some energy work, to be in silence, in preparation for the 4-days Module 2 "Shining Light on Hidden Desires" retreat that is starting tomorrow with a group of 35. And even though my whole being is since a couple of weeks already cocooning and turning inwards, I am very much looking forward to these 4 playful days together with my team. :-)
Otherwise, how does it feel now to be pregnant in my 9th month?
The biggest desire I experience is to be close to Dylan all the time - to hug, to kiss, to share our love, to do anything cozy together. I am amazed how nature works and how it makes me long for him soooo deeply. When I look at him, I feel like "Yeah, this is just the PERFECT man!" and I get dopamine rushing through my blood in abundance. Fascinating!
Yesterday, we spent some time assembling some furniture and giving it place for our little wonder. We looked through things we purchased for her and felt so touched. Tears were running down my cheaks just imagining that in a couple more weeks I'll meet her with my own eyes.
It's not all pinky rosy being pregnant, even though the heart opening is unprecedented. Maybe I've had one of the easiest and smoothest experiences until now if I hear other women sharing - no nausea or feeling down. Yet, I've also often had a feeling like my body is hijacked by a greater force which crafts my whole being the way it pleases on all levels: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. From painful breasts to heaviness in the belly, from restlessness and sleeplessness at night especially in the last few weeks to a sudden pain in the hands, from making me move much slower and sudden tiredness to amplifying emotions even more. Wow, all I can do is surrender - it's just like that.
Feeling her move and reach out with her little hands and feet through the belly is just too sweet.
For the first time in my whole life, I realize how my parents love me no matter what, what I mean to them and how precious this bond is.
My 'little guru', I am so so happy you are already in my life and I'll be able to witness you with all my senses soon.π